Happy Fifth of July
July 6, 2009
As much as I love the change in apron color (granted it doesn’t have pockets) and the very stylish back of house lunch lady hair net, on a Sunday, I would made more money as a server. Direct quote: “We’re short a server today.” What? Excuse me? Was this because you let everyone and their mother’s gerbil have the day off? Was it because you failed to acknowledge that I’m not actually an expo but a server that has worked many a Sunday during the winter? Hrm… something is amiss here. As expo you want me to… run… food? Run food? Really? Dear GM, you run food and stop messing up the tickets. You’re doing more harm in the kitchen than good. Gtfo. How many orders did I f-ball? Zero. How many did you f-ball so that the server, not you, had to reap the benefits? I can’t even recall the total tally. You’ve fallen off your rocker and can’t get back on.
And another thing: don’t dictate to me, I’m working. I don’t need you to try to hold my hand as we cross from the doors to the line. Get out, get out, get out!
Why do guests continue to stiff servers? You are taking into account that perhaps you had to wait to get a table which indicates there are a lot of other people besides yourself that need attention? Should we set up a mani- and pedi-? Perhaps a massage for you? What would make you less irritable about having to sit on your butt in a seat and ingest calories or filter mindless conversation with your friends? Would it be STAYING AT HOME? …I don’t know. If you didn’t bring the tip, you might as well. This wasn’t even my table.
I’m reading Fight Club… that’s all I’m saying.
Ham and Cheese Omlette Man, come back to me! I’ve missed you and fear for your health. (Look, something chipper amidst this irritation.)
I forgot to mention how the fourth of July is the fifteenth of August. What does that mean? It means that despite the guise of celebration we’re not celebrating anything because there are not holidays in our world. No holidays and no official days off unless the place burns to the ground.
Happy Fifth of July! (Because its just as special as the fourth to us.)
